Ascot

Last week I went to Ascot for the first time and I had an amazing time. I went with my good friend who is like my sister whom I have known since I was four. I placed a bet on a horse called Emirates Airline as my friend Emma works for them currently but unfortunately I did not win, however it reminded me about the gamble I am about to take.

My story if you have been following is about my series of books that I have been writing and I am gearing up to release. This has been a very long journey and it is only now about to commence for you but for me this has been an ongoing journey of nearly 2 years. I remember when I met with Anthony from Palamedes PR last year, (they are representing me) and he said that this will be a marathon not a sprint as it is a series of books. It has not been easy writing my first book because I am not someone who likes to talk about my feelings. I am an avoider but seeing as this lead me to the darkest place in my life, now I am honest with myself and the people around me about how I feel. It is not always reciprocated but one thing I have learned through this journey is not to let people tarnish your spirit because of what they are doing or if they have acted negatively towards you.

One person through this journey who has been my biggest inspiration is my son Antoine. He is a child model and actor and I have tried to instill the mentality in him to always keep trying no matter what. He is my best friend, I am very grateful for the guidance and support certain people have also given me with him. Adrian Vincent a model from Sierra Leone always contacts me if he sees anything that he thinks would be suitable for either of us. Jason Dax another model spent an hour on the phone to me once offering me guidance on modelling and is also one of the people who encouraged me to go natural with my hair. Something that may seem small to you but in a world where I felt like I needed to conform to be accepted, he made me realise that my beauty is not based on my hair and people should accept you for you. I will be mentioning a few people over the next few weeks who have had an impact on me somewhere along this journey so please bare with me for there is a way they have all helped me along this journey and I feel that we spend to much of our time on the negative people around us, so let’s be grateful for the helpful ones.

When it comes to acting I have got to mention Gem Allen because she opened the world to Antoine. She runs a group called Popgems and she allowed Antoine to start slightly earlier and he has grown in confidence ever since. Lastly, Jill one of my fellow Drama Mums who also has a son, has always encouraged me to put myself out there because if you don’t try you will never know.

As it was fathers’ day on 21st June, I always have to remind people that the other half of Antoine is a Hoyte. If you ask him he will say his name is Antoine Hoyte-Lovell and although we are not together his dad is always there for him and available when he needs him. He is also the one who puts his foot down sometimes when it comes to what Antoine will and won’t be doing and helps me make the decisions when it comes to his acting along with his godfather Emeke.

The final thought I would like to leave you with is actually from a Steve Harvey video that Emeke sent to me recently.