Hardships

I was lying down earlier and I realised something about myself, I am a fighter. Let me explain what I mean, before you assume I’m into MMA or something. I have been going through the wars recently and had an onslaught of bad things happening. I guess this has shown me how much I have grown. Do not get me wrong I am still hurting and I don’t really want to speak to anyone but that is natural when life is kicking you sometimes. The thing I do know though is that I will get through it which is so different to the girl I was years ago.

Picture this, a girl in her bedroom crying over a boy, not that hard to envisage right? Now add a bereavement, having your house burgled twice, losing your job and an emergency surgery. Sounds like a bad movie but unfortunately that was my life over the space of a year, a short time ago. At that point I crumbled, I had never experienced any of the things I was going through and I had no idea how to cope with it all. I became depressed but as a person who has had a sheltered life it was a shock to my system. I ended up wanting to end everything, stop the pain, stop the heart ache, just stop. The thing is you can always control your actions but you cannot control other peoples and for once this was a good thing. My twin as I call her or my best friend Hannah, stopped me from taking my life. I am forever grateful to Hannah because without her I would not be here to pester your airwaves on radio and your eyes through my blogs. Please do not think that was the end of my battle it was a long road to recovery and I only realise how far I have come now because we have fast forwarded a few years and put myself in new situations that are just as bad but I know this time I will get through it all.

Through all of this you are probably thinking what could be so bad and actually again it’s nothing unusual happening but if you know anyone that suffers with depression sometimes it can be the littlest thing that could trigger you. A chipped tooth after a fall resulting in root canal, a bereavement, a family member in hospital, not getting work for a while so having no money, someone crashing into your car and then nearly attacking you about it and your child coming home telling you about his first racist experience. Again I wish I could say all of this was a bad romantic comedy but this has been my life since November. Everyone has been asking me recently how I’m getting through it? why am I not rocking in a corner somewhere? My response

“I am a Goddess and even they have hard ships sometimes”

No one has that perfect life you see on social media. If you look at my social media you would never even guess I suffer with depression or that any of these things are going on but I think it is important to share it with you. So often people don’t realise that other people are going through hardships and that it takes nothing to be kind to a stranger.

My advice to you reading this, just be reminded that it will not always be easy and that you will get the good, the bad and the ugly. However, your hardships and good times do not define who you are, the way you react to these situations and learn from them encapsulates who you are as a person. Please get out of bed and keep going every morning, get up and get dressed. It may seem difficult at that moment in time but trust me when I say it will get better especially if you keep trying because when you give up it leaves you feeling alone. I know this is a serious Blog but I cannot continue to bury my head in the sand when I have a child who may experience life struggles. I need to show him what it means to keep fighting because he needs to know his dreams can come true, JUST KEEP TRYING.